Fuck video games. I’m becoming a chef.

If you ever thought you knew food, consider yourself wrong. Today is the day the holiest and most sacred of foods was invented, witnessed by one Dina De Palma and my highly judgmental and now incredibly satisfied, tantalised tongue.


WITNESS:



As I believe that love and joy should be spread aggressively across the Earth (even in Belgium), I’ve decided to share the recipe and process with you fine folk of MySpace.



Here:


1. Get some lean bacon and cut the fatty bits off. Also get chocolate. Stuff with caramel is best as it creates little ‘bits’ that add texture and flavour. I picked this posh Giardeli stuff.






2. Make the bacon. Fry till it’s dark red with slightly burnt bits (crispy goodness!). Place them on something that absorbs fat, because it’s not like this isn’t already deathly unhealthy anyway.








3. Put lots of chocolate in a little bowl and melt it in a microwave for a minute and a half. If it gets too sticky, put a tiny amount of milk (any kind) in there and stir. Make sure the chocolate is thick, but only thick like honey, not thick like dough.



4. Put the bacon on a dry baking sheet and pour the chocolate on top of the bacon. Put it in a fridge to harden.






5. Eat it. Enjoy it. Try NOT to cry. It really is that good. If you’re an atheist, you may start turning religious. BE CAREFUL.






6. If you want to worship my immense genius or send me gifts, feel free to MySpace me for an address. If you are female and have breasts, we can arrange my signing them for you, in person.


Love,




Dan