NOOOZ

Behold my somewhat offensive T-Shirt designs!

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:24:34 +0000

I'll be adding more tees with time, but for now, we have Transflamers t-shirts, Vageterian tops and I'll be attempting to adapt the Mandigo Tales to a t-shirt friendly format.

Xbox 360 mag article reprints: My snarky games industry column

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 18:46:38 +0000

Nov 06
EAxploitation. A piece on whether EA deserves the tidal waves of hatorade they get from fanboys.

Dec 06
You can't spell 'analyst' without 'anal. It's about analysts talking out of their arseholes.

Jan 07
Games that make you cry, AKA making games can make you cry. How making games can potentially deflate you to the point of tears.

Feb 07
The Oprah Effect. I really don't like her despite having never met her. I'm a judgmental prick and happy with it. In this piece, I try to figure out what kind of game she'd like. This is before the world knew of Wii Fit I think. She'd probably dig that. Also, here is the original, ruder, snarkier, funnier un-edited version of this piece. They really edited the hell out of it.

March 07
Not Very Super-heroes. A rant about shitty superhero movies and the disappearance of testosterone action flicks. Rambo 4 really made me happy when it eventually came out.

I'll put more up later in the week

The D.A.M articles

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 17:53:22 +0000

These are articles I wrote for Digital Artist Management's newsletter. Some of them are good, some could be better. I'll update this as new ones are done.

Indie Developer-focused pieces
An interview with Introversion: Indie devs who made it
An interview with Chris Bateman; designer, award winning writer, design theorist / philosopher and generally good bloke
GDC and the steady rise of Indie gaming
More support for the Garage Developer
Trying to go Homebrew Part 1
Trying to go Homebrew Part 2
A much earlier piece on Indie gaming and homebrew devs. Can you see a pattern yet?

Hollywood and Games
In prep of the Hollywood and Games Summit
Hollywood and Games or Art VS Money?

Other stuff
E3 2006 Pre-show
E3 2006 Post-show
I-Phone: Saviour of Mobile Gaming and the Indie Developer?

My latest invention: Choco-Bacon

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:57:23 +0000

Fuck video games. I'm becoming a chef.

The Adventures of Mandingo

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 20:11:20 +0000

A three(ish) part comic I've been doing in my spare time. I hope you enjoy it. Also, thanks to Dan Jevons for his suggestion which I used in the final panels of part 3B.

Guitar Hero 3 on expert aka how to make your fingers bleed

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:31:24 +0000

Speedball 2 on Xbox Live Arcade - October 17th

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 13:49:41 +0000

Buy it damn you!

Another Frenchman invents awesome way to traverse land

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 23:49:29 +0000

Behold! The roller-suit.

James Brown. Even in death, he is still awesome

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 23:17:57 +0000

Here he is teaching people how to dance.

And here he is, being drunk on TV.

Star Wars Xmas Special

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 23:03:46 +0000

The one Lucas is ashamed of.

What. The Fuck.

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 21:46:50 +0000

Nintendo gives a sex-ed class through their questionable 'Captain N' TV show.

There are no words.

Echochrome: Cool little puzzle game

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:35:06 +0000

This is the kind of thing that the Japanese excel at - mad experimental cool shit. This is coming for PSN (PS3) and PSP. In short, you navigate MC Esher style environments and solve puzzles by changing the perspective.

Rock Band gameplay video

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:26:06 +0000

Brought to you by Harmonix, the ninjas behind the mighty Guitar Hero. This will be the central piece of every party where alcohol is served for the next ten years. You can download FULL ALBUMS and there will be a new album released EVERY FUCKING WEEK.

This game is so full of win I could cry.

Bizarre 8-bit versions of 16-bit games

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 02:21:22 +0000

Russian NES pirates. Pretty exhaustive work from the looks of it. Even a version of Super Mario World. Haven't had a chance to play it, but I assume anyone with a NES emulator can give these a tinker:

http://cah4e3.shedevr.org.ru/dumping_2005.html

Red Bull - what it's really made of

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 17:44:18 +0000

Taurine is not actually bull's piss.

http://www.wired.com/science/discover...st_redbull

Awesome online jam session software

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 20:01:26 +0000

Behold - NINJAM.

http://www.ninjam.com/index.php

Proper Journalism does still exist

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 06:11:52 +0000

Just watch this. Keith Olbermann = one of the last true journalists.

Lucy Pinder AND MICHELLE MARSH gets their jubblies out

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 22:11:03 +0000

Both of them. Topless.
Joy >>>

Lovely jubblies indeed. I'm not even going to bother with a preview image. You know what to expect:
http://sexypix.thumblogger.com/home/log/2007/14/lucy-pinders-first-ever-t.html

And here's the lovely Ms Marsh:
http://womencelebs.blogspot.com/2007/04/michelle-m...l

Dylan Moran; a funny motherfucker

Sun, 17 Jun 2007 15:16:33 +0000

On the Governator

On 'Death before Dishonour'

On everything (bit long, but some good bits)

On Rap (awesome)

SPINAL TAP RETURNS!!!

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 23:46:13 +0000

Man. So short, but so beautifully awesome.

Unbelievably awesome image technology

Sun, 03 Jun 2007 02:40:07 +0000

Basically, all images shared on the web will be dynamically linked together to create a living, breathing Google Maps-style world.

Weird birds from New Guinea

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 19:38:58 +0000

They look not of this Earth. Fucking trippy as shit.

MySpace is finally infiltrated by Rupert Murdoch's political bumchums

Mon, 28 May 2007 17:28:26 +0000

Observe the 'Cool New People' portion of MySpace's front page. Keep hitting refresh. Notice anything weird?

It would seem that if you log in fairly regularly, you'll see something a little off-key.

Firstly, there are politicians in the 'Cool New People' box. Secondly, they are posing as 'cool' and 'people'. Thirdly, they seem to breaking the rules somewhat as the same ones will reappear in that box a day or two after. Just like past elections, it seems this little box has been 'rigged'.

Surely this is a bug? There's no way the same person would pop up twice on what is supposed to be an area highlighting new people who've just signed up? Could it be a bunch of politicians calling in favours to Mr Murdoch? Quite possibly. He does "buy things to run things" and has been known to push political agendas in the past.

Here's a bunch of screengrabs from varied visits across last week. Notice how some of these creatures pop-up multiple times:

Hot Celebrity ASS collection

Sat, 26 May 2007 15:03:49 +0000

Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Vida Guerererera, Stacy Keibler... They are ALL in here:

http://www.fundumper.com/cool/best-cel...mpilation.htm

Rambo IV early trailer

Thu, 24 May 2007 16:08:32 +0000

Looks like a gruesome but entertaining 'straight to DVD' action flick.

Halo 3 to have FOUR PLAYER ONLINE CO-OP

Mon, 21 May 2007 03:04:54 +0000

Well shiver my fucking timbers. That. Is. Awesome.

That's if these guys who hacked the Halo 3 beta are speaking truth:

http://flamesoffeenix.wordpress.com/2007/05/...

Top 100 hottest women, with nudie pics

Mon, 21 May 2007 03:02:21 +0000

According to Zoo. A shit magazine only saved by its appreciation of the female form:

Beauty is but a click away >>>

Extreme Ironing. No really

Mon, 21 May 2007 03:01:22 +0000

Weird. very weird.

http://www.natives.co.uk/news/2002/0502/08iron.htm
http://www.extremeironing.com/

How to fix your Xbox 360's three rings of death

Mon, 21 May 2007 02:20:13 +0000

I've not tried it, but it seems dirt simple. And weird. Because it involves TOWELS.

Super Mario Bros beaten in 5 minutes 11 seconds

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 17:00:38 +0000

Free music from DJs EEvil and Johnny Hardcore

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 17:01:01 +0000

Might as well combine two sets of DJ sets in one story. Because I am lazy.

Here's Dr EEvil's stuff if you like things like Pendulum and other breaks. He does a pretty decent Roadhouse Blues mix too:
His new mix >>>
And a link to all his stuff >>>

Here's Johnny Hardcore's stuff if you like yourself some 'ardcore. Or just House:
Half an hour of Hardcore >>>
Sunday Sessions >>>

For the boys recently 'let go' at SCE, here is something to make the pain go away

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 21:01:03 +0000

This also has the double edged sword of making everyone else who likes looking at girls feel very, very nice and warm inside as well. Thank Saint 'Firesuite' for this most glorious of moving images.

Midget kickboxing and midget breakdancing

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 15:11:54 +0000

Midgets. A great way to start any day:

And now the breaking:

Images of Transformers that almost make me want to see it now

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 06:47:29 +0000

I know I'll hate the dialogue (the leaked script is pages upon pages of shame), but the action scenes may be the reason to sell me in. And these pics stolen from various places across teh internets are may be the proof in the proverbial pudding. Click the still images to expand them.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R devs steal in-game assets from DOOM and Half Life 2

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 23:01:58 +0000

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OWNED. The things you have to do to meet ship deadlines....

The light textures in S.T.A.L.K.E.R >>>
The light textures in DOOM >>>
A texture comparrison between Half Life 2 and S.T.A.L.K.E.R. This one's shameless >>>

More genius from Mr T

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 21:27:21 +0000

Here, the walking jewelery shop does a bit of rapping.

And here, he wears turquoise leggings while giving advice on peer pressure:

Best. Restaurant. Ever

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 16:14:38 +0000

Ninjas serve you food. Be careful though, it might be poisoned. It's also in Noo Yawk.

This place is pretty cool too:
http://www.dinnerinthesky.com/

Mo' here >>>

Mr T fashion show. MUST SEE COMEDY

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 16:46:28 +0000

I've been crying. With laughter. And shame that I grew up in the 80s.

And never forget to RECOUP.

Fold Protein on your Mac, PC and PS3

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 16:22:29 +0000

The following link provides only the PC and MAC version, but if you go to the PlayStation store, you can download the client I believe. It's free and helps finds cures for shit like Leprosy and your mum being a whore* , which means if you don't download and run it, you're probably a cunt.

http://folding.stanford.edu/download.html

*Your mum will never be cured of this

God Of War II - Mini Review

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 20:11:12 +0000

Ok, so I love the original God Of War title, the size of the game, as well as its looks hooked me. This time around in GOW2 I wanted to be suitably impressed again, and I have been by the look of the game, and the additions to its gameplay, however...

Pretty cool short film

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 23:23:22 +0000

The ending was a nice surprise. Worth watching all the way through.

Videogame fanboys are stupid and annoying

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 23:10:18 +0000

Let it be testament to his stupidity that I took time out of being painfully overworked to post this Youtube of possibly the most idiotic twat I'v seen in a while.

Go and touch a fanny. It'll change your life mate.

Meanwhile, here are some more idiots. I'm *stunned* people like this actually exist:

OPRAH WINFREY CAN MAKE OR BREAK THINGS (especially through sitting on them)

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 19:50:07 +0000

Oprah Winfrey ruined one of the best pubs in my area, because she told everyone it has �the best burger in America�. The rotund harpy knows what she�s talking about too. I mean LOOK AT HER. I�d definitely trust her opinion on ingestibles as she�s clearly well-versed in ingesting them.

Bloody amazing French Beat boxer

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 20:06:55 +0000

Goes from Michael Jackson to all sorts. How he breathes is a mystery. Also, the site will start getting updated again by the end of the month. Shit's been crazy.

Richard Joseph Dies

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 13:06:35 +0000

Legendary Computer Game Musician has passed away aged 53. Richard had been ill for a short period of time with Lung Cancer...

The BAFTA-winning Joseph was one of the pioneers of sampling in games, with many Bitmap Brothers tunes featuring well-known artists of the era such as Betty Boo. But his own creations for Sensible were perhaps his best known work, such as the controversial "War Has Never Been So Much Fun" tune in Cannon Fodder and, of course, "Goal Scoring Superstar Hero" used in Sensible Soccer.

I only Met Richard the once, but that was enough, Richard you will be greatly missed.

Grand Theft Auto IV - Trailer soon...

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 01:31:47 +0000

Those noble fellows at Rockstar have just started the GTAIV PR ball rolling by announcing that the first trailer for the next gen title will be unleashed on Thursday March 29th, only 28 days to go...

V.I.P seat in hell reserved for me

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 15:17:42 +0000

Because bits in these clips made me laugh.

Charity of Worthwhile Uplifting Awesomeness

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 04:34:34 +0000

This foundation was started by my very own bretheren. So I know it's for real, and therefore has the Noooz stamp of approval.

Find it here.

Or read more about it below...

Die Hard 4.0 - Live Free Die Hard

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:53:48 +0000

Here's the first teaser for the upcoming Die Hard 4.0. Which I totally despise as a name. It's a film, not a word processor...

http://www.apple.com/trailers/fox/livefreeordiehard/large.html

General Transformers

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 21:46:57 +0000

General Motors have just unveiled their Transformers movie line-up of cars:

Jazz looks a bit 'mobile hairdresser', but Ratchet and Ironhide look more like it. Still stinks of a whole blockbuster film advert. I still harbour a dream of getting my soul eroded by the build up to this film, only to be blown away by the final product. But as I say, it is just a dream...

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=19027